Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy
by Cerberusia
Summary: Welcome to Miss Cerberus' YSFA! Here, you will hopfully learn the art of writing decent slash fic...provided you can stop ogling. Spinoff of Miss Cam's OFUM. On hold.
1. Prologue

The Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy

Prologue

_Dear Reader,_

_Between this dimension and the next, there are several places, not of this world._

_Some have visited them, but few have either lived or kept their sanity long enough to tell the tale._

_This story is about one such dimension; it houses what is known as 'fanfiction', and the people who modulate it._

_The people in our dimension who write fanfiction can use this universe- not to actually jump into it, but to 'tap into' the 'force' of the world. How much they can do so, can generally be determined by the standard of the fanfiction they produce._

_This is not merely a story of writers falling into this world, but also of the people who already inhabit it, who are often sadly neglected in stories of this sort._

_There is much more to this universe than what I have explained- much, much more. However, all shall be revealed in time._

_Do read, I beg of you._

_Cerberus, Head of Department_

A/N. Well, that's the prologue. I hope you enjoy reading the rest! If you want to sign up, send me an e-mail or a PM. I'll get back to you as fast as I can!

Cerberus


	2. Chapter I

The Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy

Chapter I

From a small, dark corridor, somewhere in the East Wing of Miss Cerberus' Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy, there was a piercing, blood-curdling shriek, causing all the scurrying servants and slaves to pause in their tasks.

Not that this was an unusual occurrence- the Academy had many of these such corridors, and it wasn't odd for people to be caught by them.

What was unusual was that it had happened at this point in time, when there were no students, all of them having gone home for the holidays.

And besides; it had sounded suspiciously like the scream of a certain staff member…

Suddenly, a whirlwind hurtled past, knocking several workers out of the way. It stopped just before crashing into a wall, turned ninety degrees to the right, and stabbed a long glaive down the corridor.

The servants and slaves, now recovered from the attack, just carried on with their work, completely ignoring the rather dramatic scene that was now happening just a few feet from them, apart from when avoiding a stray limb was needed.

After roughly two minutes of this, the noises and movements ceased, and peace reined once more, much to the delight of most of the Academy's inhabitants.

The whirlwind now revealed itself to be a (very hacked off) human girl, who was scowling fiercely, as she dragged the corridor's victim, another female, out of the web they had been entangled in.

"Kami-sama, Suzaku, do you ever _learn_!" the child almost shrieked at her companion, who was rubbing her head tiredly, and looking dazed.

"Um…Nope?" Suzaku mumbled, wincing. "Have we got any of that Tortall bruise balm?"

The smaller girl rolled her eyes.

"Probably. Now shut up, while we go and sort you out."

"Yes, Cerberus." And with that, they hurried off, the smaller dragging the other behind her.

_Time break to start of term_

The Headmistress of the Inspiration Fanfiction Academy glared down from her podium, at the new students, all of whom were terrified. They had been here for barely an hour, having been chucked through portals of various shapes and sizes, and already they had had several encounters with various creatures, also of various shapes and sizes, and very few of them pleasant.

And now, they were stood in front of a girl who looked no older than her very early teens, yet still intimidating, and who was giving them highly unpleasant looks, green eyes glittering in a way which was far from reassuring.

"Right then, you miserable lot! As you (should) already know, this is the Girls-Only Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy!" The girl, though young, had a loud, strident voice, and many people winced. "No males are to be found here, unless you count the various bishounen who are wandering around, having a break before helping out in class." There was a collective sigh, and several girls began to drool. "Don't slaver, or I'll send you all round with mops. Before we even start classes, there are a few things we need to sort out.

"For one, my name; Miss Cerberus if you write slash, but for yaoi writers it's either Cerberus-san, or Cerberus-sensei, depending on whether or not I'm teaching you at the time. Your teachers will tell you their names at the start of the lessons. If there are any questions, ask either an older student, or a teacher who doesn't look too busy. If you disobey any of the rules which will be set down for you, then you will be tortured accordingly.

"Secondly; if you try to 'glomp' any of the bishounen who happen to be having a break, then you shall also be tortured accordingly; probably covered in boiling oil.

"Thirdly; anyone attempting to sneak into the staff section will be given to the Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Mordicants and other assorted minis to…have fun…with. And with all that said, you can leave." And with that, she leapt down from her podium, and smiled at the pupils, who were now wide-eyed with fear. "Good day to you." She sauntered off down a corridor, leaving the girls dumbstruck.

"Oi, follow me!" Peoples' heads swivelled, and their owners gulped. Insane, straggly hair, heavy eyeliner, white powdered skin- your typical Goth. The girl smiled, revealing sharp teeth. "Normally, I wouldn't be here leading newbies around, but Neko's gone and broken her leg, so she can't do it. Now, follow me, before I make you!" People hurried to get into line, almost falling over each other in their rush. One brave person asked;

"Um, are all the teachers as young as you and Miss Cerberus?"

"No, just the ones who help with the running of the school. Some of you may actually recognize your subject tutors. Now move it, for Lucifer's sake- I've already asked twice!" And off they set, through a dizzying maze of corridors, up and down also dizzying sets of stairs, and somehow, finally, they were at their dorm room.

"Now, don't go wandering off- just get settled in. The introduction booklet you were given at the start of this whole thing will have your dorm number on it. There are three floors in this East Wing, each with five rooms on it, each with two beds. This is the second floor- there are stairs to the right, which lead up and down. But like I said- _don't go wandering off_. Some of the corridors here have a tendency to…swallow…things." The teacher glared at them once more, then moved off, to who-knew-where.

The girls looked hesitantly around.

"Well, shall we get sorted, then?"

_END CHAPTER_


	3. Chapter II

The Yaoi and Slash Fanfiction Academy

Chapter II

Eleanor stared at the ceiling of her room, unable to sleep. She was in room thirteen, on the third floor. _'Just what I need- a bad omen.'_ She was rather new to the world of writing yaoi and slash fanfiction, mostly preferring to read. However, a few months earlier, she had decided to have a go, thinking herself experienced enough to try.

She hadn't done too badly, according to her marks sheet, and was, along with most of the students at the academy, classified as a 'possible talent'. Not that this said much; the introduction booklet told her that most of the students couldn't take it after the second year, and had to be sent back to their own dimension, before they could go into their third year, and graduate from the academy.

She was hoping that she would be one of the lucky ones, who stayed on to graduate; now that she had had a taste of what it was like to write these genres, she desperately wanted to continue.

She rolled over yet again, feeling even more nervous than before. Finally, she sighed, and resigned herself to a sleepless night.

_/Next morning/_

Eleanor blinked wearily at her timetable, still not awake after several cups of very sugary tea, drunk at breakfast, at which neither Miss Cerberus nor Miss Yuki was at, thankfully.

Apparently, she had 'Evidence-Finding 101' first, with…Miss Lily Potter? Eleanor blinked in confusion.

Miss Yuki's words came back to her; _'You may even recognize some of your teachers.'_

Well, be as that may, she hadn't expected Lily Potter to be teaching! A prominent female character, featured in one of the most famous novels in the world- _'Okay, Ellie, calm down now, calm down.'_

With a start, she realized that she had been sat in surprise for five minutes, and people were beginning to stare at her. With a quick, rather sheepish wave and smile to them, she grabbed her bag, and hurried to her class.

_/Time break to 'Evidence-Finding 101'/_

Eleanor fairly flung herself into her seat, and not a moment too soon- she had just gotten herself straightened, pencil case out and bag under the desk, when a tinkling bell was heard, signifying the beginning of class, and a striking young woman walked in.

Her hair was a shade generally known as 'auburn', as curled into loosed ringlets around her heart-shaped face. Her eyes were a piercing green, and somehow catlike.

This was Lily Potter.

There was an immediate rustling of chairs, as students belatedly remembered to stand up in the presence of a teacher.

The aforementioned teacher just smiled, and motioned with her hand for them to sit back down, and they did so with relief, as she moved to stand in front of the class.

"Good morning, class. My name is, as you probably know, Lily Potter. _Not_ Lily Evans- that would be my younger self, who can sometimes be seen around here, helping. I am here to teach you Evidence-Finding 101, as you should also know. Please, open your notebooks at a clean page, and find a -working- writing utensil."

There was a ripple of movement throughout the classroom, as people obeyed.

"Now, we're starting at the basics…" There was a loud groan from most of the class. A look from Ms. Potter, and there was immediately silence again. Everyone was reminded of the age-old probably-not-a-myth 'Redheads have tempers'.

"Good. Now, as I said, we're starting at the basics…" This time, no-one objected.

_/POV switch to Miss Cerberus/_

There was a small 'whumf' noise, as a rather battered suitcase was thrown onto a bed, and a small girl threw herself down next to it. She'd known she'd regret not cleaning out that old closet one day, and that day had just come. She sneezed loudly, cursing her dust allergy.

But, she had it! The item she would need to get rid of some of the less promising first years. Really, there were far too many, she thought. She'd had to do some serious bending of the time/space continuum to get them all in, and she couldn't do it forever. No, some of them would have to go.

And she had just the way to do it, with the thing in that old battered suitcase. She gave her trademark evil cackle, and petted the case lovingly. Oh, this would be fun…

_/Time break, POV shift back to Eleanor/_

Eleanor hurried out of the classroom quite happily, satisfied with what she had learnt. They had taken examples from DNAngel, a manga series with plenty of innuendo, and been encouraged to compare them with actual BL series. Quite enjoyable, and many people were heard vowing to read DNAngel.

Suddenly, a magically-amplified voice echoed throughout the corridors.

'_Will all students please go the main hall. There will be an unscheduled assembly.'_ Miss Cerberus' voice rang out, instilling fear into students and various small creatures.

Eleanor blinked, and changed her direction to head to the main hall. What was going on, she wondered? And would she like the answer?

_End Chapter_

_A/N. Um. Ah. Yes. Well. Eheheh…I suppose there's really no excuse for leaving it for about half a year, is there? So, so sorry; I'll try to update at least marginally more often…Slinks off_


End file.
